I have to unfortunately admit that my mind is full of some serious crap due to years of pursuing women in the wrong way. I dread to think of the number of brain cells I’ve assassinated whilst sitting through pointless movies, tv shows and conversations based on celebrities or girly crap that I really have absolutely no interest in. You know what my interest was in? You don’t!?! Well that was probably my own doing, as I sat through oestrogen entertainment for countless hours that I will never get back, not sticking to my original plan (Foolish young me). But I was young and learning with nobody guiding me along the correct path to what I wanted. Well I won’t see this happen to those behind me who are blindly making the same errors that myself and many others before them and before myself have made. So here it is, are you ready? Sitting through seasons 1- Pointlessly high number of The Kardashians and whatever spin off shows it may spurn will not bring you any closer to the gush gush. Listening to a woman bitch about what celebrity dickhead of the moment did for his numpty of a woman also won’t bring you any closer any quicker. You know when you suggest going to the movies stop asking when you know a romcom is on thinking that this will soften the defences. In all of these and many other similar scenarios a simple and stern appropriation of the word “No!” will save you time, brain cells and more importantly get you closer to saying those 3 magic words, “Just the tip”.
Listen I shit you not women love to be told no, it does things to them psychologically and biologically that they don’t understand. I know I didn’t believe it myself until I tried for myself. My earliest memory was when I was just 19 and my then girlfriend asked me to follow her and her friends to some crap or the other that I had no interest in whatsoever. Uncontrollably this voice from within took over and simply said no… I expected it to turn into either a guilt trip or argument. You know what happened? We had SEX, and after the sex she went out with her friends and I went out with mine. That was it I had been liberated no more would I have to sit through crap just for some sexy time. Had Matrix been out at that time I would have told people to call me Neo. But I do have to admit that at first I was on a power trip and may have got out of hand with it… Please take note of this example and do not follow in it. Let’s say it was a Wednesday and I’d prearranged to me with my girl for “a nice home cooked lunch” at 3pm. Now let me tell you this to me sounded like some romantic fraff that my 19 year old self had no interest in sitting through because it would probably lead to talking about feelings that I quite honestly wasn’t feeling. But as I had no plans I agreed to it because hey I like food and sex had to be on the menu as a dessert, so I’d sit through the soppy stuff to get to the gushy stuff. So it’s Wednesday around 1pm and I’m hanging out with my friends in the town centre doing absolutely nothing constructive with our time for hours on end as we did back then. Well those hours pass and I get a call on my phone that by the way says it’s 3:30pm. It’s my girl asking me if I’m in my way. What did I reply? That right I pulled out the big bad “No!” and even added an arrogant chuckle to it. Now this I was expecting, my arrogant no was followed by a barrage of profanity. But being that I was still on my new-found high of super powers I didn’t take it seriously and turned up 2 hours after that call even though I was 15 mins away with the humorous excuse of “I’m not late, I’m early for tomorrow” (That classic still brings a smile to my face to this day). Needless to say I didn’t see my good friend sex for quite a while after that.
Many if not all women have a latent desire to be mastered this is why they will tell you how much a strong dominant man turns them on. This is why nice guys finish last. And this is the core reason why no is so powerful. It says you know your own mind and won’t be led down a pink fluffy alley to be adorned with low-cut t-shirts and guy liner. Just how stern that single syllable is says “Woman I am man and I will may you lose control of your legs if you don’t quit playing with me”. I often wonder of young women are aware of the things young men sit through in the pursuit of the gush gush? I know grown women know because the maturer ones like to play games with it. Some of you should be ranked on some form of world league table. I’ve seen dudes have tickets purchased for shows and days out that are clearly geared towards a woman and her friends not a woman and her man. But because the man doesn’t understand the power of no they time and time again find themselves losing brain cells and precious man time being mocked elegantly. I remember when the Sex & The City movie came out I was invited to watch it with some females friends and I sternly declined. The trixy minxes had the cheek to advise me that another male friend of mine would be attending…? This to me sounded like castration and a boy on boy date all in one. Since then it’s like every woman I’ve dated has tried to get me to watch this damned movie like there is some kind of bounty out on me watching it. But each time I stick to my guns and tell them No! I’ve even had to disconnect the DVD player on one occasion.
I’m sure if I was still young, dumb and hungry I would have seen that movie a number of times without actually wanting to. Actually this reminds me of when I was forced to watch “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” because my friend hadn’t learnt the Power Of No and was dating my girls friend. Stella got her groove back I lost precious hours of my life, those were hours of my life and memories that I would quite happily give pretty much anything to get back. I sat in that cinema feeling like the angriest young man alive. Yes watching the film lead to me having sex but she can have the sex back if I can have my time and memory space back.
Now remember as they say with great power comes great responsibility (if you don’t know the movie this is quoted from it’s probably because you didn’t know about the Power Of No and watched some Meg Ryan drivel instead), so here are a few pointers for the application of “No!”
* When you say it mean it.. They’ll be able to smell if you’re not confident in it.
* Don’t be afraid to say it in group settings even if you are outnumbered by women folk. The more the better to be honest. Let them see your alpha male dominance.
* If you’re already in trouble you may or may not want to use it depending on the situation. For instance you are now being asked to do something non-demeaning say yes it will work in your favour.
* Know when to use it. Don’t spite yourself with it.
Fellas all we really want is that peaceful existence, with regular oral blessings, sandwiches, action movies, sports, liquor and red meat. But I assure you that agreeing to every damned thing a woman asks of you won’t bring you these things on terms that equally benefit you.
I’ve seen men destroyed because they don’t know how to say no. You’ve seen them as well in clothing stores trying on clothes they don’t want to wear like a child shopping with their mother. These are the same men who love Call Of Duty but don’t own a console as the Call Of Booty told them they couldn’t have one. These are our same comrades who can’t keep alcohol in their own homes… Gentleman allows us to chant one solid NO! In the memories of these fallen soldiers.